I'm tired of people being like "But do you really wanna throw away your friendship?" Because is fucking YES. I do.

Ugh. Nevermind.

I wish I could find the perfect words to describe what I'm feeling, but I can't. It's terrible, but I don't regret how I feel. I'm not going to be apologetic for it either. My feelings won't change. I just have to figure out, again, how to deal with it.

I will be turning on "Red" by Taylor Swift again and listening as many times as I want. And XO by Beyonce.

Fuck. How many times in your life do you realize... Damn. I have no idea what I want.

What the fuck is going to happen now?

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself its time now, gotta let go, but moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head burning red...

You know what I love most about lounging in the sun all day? The warm of my skin when I lay down at night. I can feel it radiating like a little warm bubble, and I'm very much in love with that feeling.

I'm updating to get the stupid red 1 notification off my phone.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

One week.
I seriously still struggle with it all. I don't know what going to happen when I get back. I just want to be okay with everything. I want to be comfortable and not disappoint anyone. When it comes to disappointment, I'm the last person I worry about.
Also. The reason why I even started this was to say, I really hope I'm not obnoxious. ( Read more... )

I'm no longer afraid. I decided this week to move to Colorado with my godmother. I'm so excited! Originally I had thought about moving in August, but I moved the date to beginning-mid July. I'm probably just going to bartend until I can find another job. I'm playing it all by ear until I get a little settled. Eeee!! I can't wait! 22hr road trip! ( Read more... )

I wrote myself a note last night. A reminder, really.
Why am I so afraid to take a risk? Everything is set in place. All I have to do is go. When did I become this scared to try something new?
I have no idea what to do.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.